Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
