you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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