the condom got lost in my hair
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
