I just made out with a guy for $7.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
