do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
