as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
