How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
