I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
