I just cut my nipple shaving
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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