So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
