East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
