Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
