a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
