I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
