hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
