Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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