I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
