She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
