My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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