If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
God, I missed his penis.
tell me about the fingering
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