She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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