i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
