3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
