I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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