Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
