woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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