My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
