I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
