K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
