Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
