i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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