Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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