If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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