I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
