she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
