Define "chronic" masturbator.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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