Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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