last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
