it was like his penis was on wheels.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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