i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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