So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
