p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
