what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
