What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
