"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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