just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
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