Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
