where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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