Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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