Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
